| You Want Success, So What’s Stopping You? | ||
| Author: Marla Tabaka Tuesday, August 13, 2013 |
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Is it possible that your thoughts can actually prevent you from being successful? Sure it is! Your belief system dictates how you act, what you do, and the amount of emotional risk you are willing to take. Awareness of your limiting beliefs can be enough for you to start thinking positively and start on your way to success!
Is it possible that your thoughts can actually prevent you from being successful? Sure it is!
Your belief system dictates how you act, what you do, and the amount of emotional risk you are willing to take. In fact, I used to believe that if I ever became “successful” my life would change in ways that felt uncomfortable and undesirable to me. And one day I realized just how limiting my subconscious beliefs had become.
While developing an exercise for one of my workshops it hit me that my image of successful people was, well, very limiting shall we say? I wasn't fully conscious of this image until then, and it sure kept me stuck! After all, who would want to turn into some form of an unapproachable, unfriendly snob? {Laughing!} Yup, that’s what I believed; subconsciously at least.
But how can a simple vision of an unappealing future keep me from success? And how did I know that it was, indeed, limiting my success? Well, I wasn't attracting enough clients, money was slipping through my fingers and I felt stuck and fearful about taking the risks associated with growing my business. Fear of unpleasant change can do funny things to a person; and I saw success as unpleasant!
Your belief system dictates how you act, what you do, and the amount of emotional risk you are willing to take. In fact, I used to believe that if I ever became “successful” my life would change in ways that felt uncomfortable and undesirable to me. And one day I realized just how limiting my subconscious beliefs had become.
While developing an exercise for one of my workshops it hit me that my image of successful people was, well, very limiting shall we say? I wasn't fully conscious of this image until then, and it sure kept me stuck! After all, who would want to turn into some form of an unapproachable, unfriendly snob? {Laughing!} Yup, that’s what I believed; subconsciously at least.
But how can a simple vision of an unappealing future keep me from success? And how did I know that it was, indeed, limiting my success? Well, I wasn't attracting enough clients, money was slipping through my fingers and I felt stuck and fearful about taking the risks associated with growing my business. Fear of unpleasant change can do funny things to a person; and I saw success as unpleasant!
So I took myself through my own process. That’s right: I walked the walk and talked the talk!
Below are some of the questions I asked myself to reveal my limiting beliefs. Before asking them of yourself, take a moment to think about where you might be stuck. Do you make excuses or procrastinate on certain things in your life or business? Do you feel uncomfortable when you imagine success in your life? Have you been spinning your wheels instead of making progress? These questions will help you to find out.
Think of one goal, desire or dream that you have not yet achieved and answer these questions:
- What are the negative consequences that may occur when I achieve my desire? (You heard me right: negative consequences!)
- Who will I be when I achieve this dream or goal? What will change?
- What will I expect of myself once I accomplish this goal?
- What will others expect of me?
Your answers may provide insights around your limiting beliefs, but that's just the beginning. How do we change these beliefs and knock down the seemingly impenetrable barrier to your success?
Sometimes the awareness alone is enough to create a break through, but as I found out in my next discovery, we need help to eliminate strong limiting beliefs. We can't always change with shear willpower because the things that keep us from moving forward are stored at the cellular level. That's right, the negative thoughts, worry, and stress can come from a level deep inside of us that we can't simply decide to change. These come from negative life experiences which are literally downloaded into our cellular memory. They become a part of who we are-- and letting go isn't always easy.
There are a few methods that address this problem; the method that I use in my life and as a coach is called The Emotional Freedom Techniques, or EFT Tapping. The success rate with EFT is very high and I find that its results are usually permanent.
Whatever method you choose, it's important that you understand that the procrastination, fear, and stress that comes from these embedded beliefs do not make us weak or inferior in any way. We all build walls around ourselves at some point in our life; it's just the way the human mind works. It's OK to reach out for help; breaking through the walls all by yourself is not easy. In fact, sometimes it's impossible.
Are you ready to create change, once and for all? Great! Hopefully the questions you’ve answered here will get you on your way. Again, once you make the decision to change, understand that you may need some “outside interference”. Coaches, therapists and successful mentors are all good resources. Try to avoid staying in the family and your circle of close friends; they love you too much to be objective.
Go ahead. Shape those limiting beliefs into positive, uplifting images of a successful future, beginning now!